my role on tumblr dot com is to scroll through thousands of posts and only reblog the good ones for you to see like your personal tumblr pasta strainer
“how’d your parents die again?” by fatimah asghar / p.t. / anatomy by kitty horrorshow / skinamarink by kyle edward ball / house of leaves by mark z. danielewski / silent hill 4: the room / heck by kyle edward ball
(Gordon ramsay chewing out a restaurant owner over his old expired ingredients) And where the fuck does this door lead? If I see a- (there is a hallway miles long, with ashen black walls and no end in sight)¹
the rationalist “we should clone a few thousand copies of von neumann cause they’ll have really high IQ and solve all our problems” thing but for napoleon. what america needs is a (eunuch?) vat-grown napoleon clone leader class
they would literally all just kill each other
that’s what the castration option is there for if necessary
Actually Napoleon had a ton of loyalty to his family and loved delegating so I think as long as you had one that was clearly a few years older than the rest to establish the initial hierarchy it would go ok
I was imagining that I personally would act as a father/uncle figure to my brood of napoleons, as head of the cloning program
“I bred a legion of Napoleon clones to be the officer corps of my fledgling dictatorship and now they’ve overthrown me and plunged the nation into a civil war of genetically identical but ideologically diverse factions that I must somehow defeat???”
Napoleon #08C0: Begone with you, Napoleon #1014! We’ll never ally ourselves with a Bonapartist!
Comic Relief Sidekick Napoleon: Guys why can’t we just Bon-together instead of Bon-aparte -_-
I would euthanize that one humanely. this is serious business
Well I wouldn’t! I would kill it horribly and inhumanely, like say through drawing and quartering, and that’s that!
Comic Relief Sidekick Napoleon getting drawn and quartered: “Aaaaa I’m getting Napoleon Tornaparte!!!”
Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I’ve ever read - but I’ve read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella’s body, and that’s why the third priest’s penis is described in this way: from the narrator’s perspective it literally blots out the sky.
they keep calling Oppenheimer a theoretical physicist but there’s enough historical evidence for his existence that they should probably just admit he’s real
Firing high speed physicists at each other in CERN to see if Oppenheimer can be detected. It’s hard because he decays quickly
i had a dream where tornadoes were made illegal or something i just remember like a dozen police cars driving directly toward a tornado with their sirens on and all getting sucked into the tornado
wow players having to stand in lines for a quest because a relevant npc can only talk to one player at a time. is the funniest image on the planet
i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.
ALT